Really

“Guidelines are for people who don’t know what they really want.”

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Anti-hipster

Just because I’ve seen seen a few things lately, I feel as though I need to clarify it again:

Hipsters, by definition, cannot have ‘a look’ nor can they absorb and start following a trend:
Plaid.
Unkepmt beards.
Unstarbucks.
‘Raising awareness.’
Gluten free.
Referring to ‘The Universe’ as a diety. Eg: “the universe was good to me today. All the lights were green!” “Thank the universe!”
Craft beer (whatever the hell that means (that’s a problem for another day (these parenthesis are becoming disruptive to my point (yup, that last one did it (more like overdid it))))

…The point is we associate these traits with hipsters, but really these folks just hop on the train and are some of the most unhipstery people out there. Don’t blame hipsters for this very, very odd culture generally specific to the Pacific Northwest.

The real hipsters remain hidden in plain daylight, disguised as a normal person with no defined style or statement, walking amongst us as they set the trends we, or, ‘those obnoxious people,’ do not yet recognize, but will inevitably be subjected to. Who are they? We may never know, and we may never find out… and we may never give a crap either.

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Grammer

If someone corrects you’re grammar you can show them this post. Since grammar is a serious issue that we should not take lightly, and really, we should raise more awareness for, your apology is as follows:

“I cannot convey my ideas with such futile and devastatingly atrocious grammer as i have employed, and for that I am deeply; and truly sorry for what I have done. I have brought shame and misfortune upon my families name, and will be forced to carry the burden of a grammatical error with me for generations to come, as my grandchildren’s grandchildren shall still bear the scar of poor grammar as they’re lives will have been cast down by a fate not even in there power to alter, but one I have cursed them with with because of my grammatical carelessness which stems from the deepest sentiment, resonating with resonating with a resounding, ‘meh… whatever.'”

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“Everyone wants to be heard, but first you must know what you want to say.”

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Reality Check

Bessy’s the best pet cow ever!
No, she’s not a pet…

Look! Goldie’s sleeping upside-down.
No, Goldie’s not sleeping.

She said I looked good.
No, she was just being nice.

Everyone laughed at my joke.
No, they were just laughing at you in general.

If I just had enough money.
No, if you just loved yourself first.

She’s the most beautiful girl ever.
No, you’re just drunk.

I want to be famous.
No, you’re just lonely.

I think she loves me.
No, she just said Hi.

I think I love her.
I think you’re crazy.

 

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Take Me

Where does wind come from?
And where does it go?
I’m not really sure that the wind even knows.

May I ask you a favor?
When the time is right,
Take me where the wind blows.

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Nice to Meet You

Let me introduce myself.
Let me pick you up at seven.
Let me show you a good time.
Let me put my arm around you.
Let me drive you home.
Let me show you how to have fun on the way.
Let me watch tv.
Let me leave the seat up.
Let me eat.
Let me compliment you today.
Let me hold it all in.
Let me live.
Let me come home late sometimes.
Let me explain that.
Let me think.
Let me change the subject.
Let me pack my things.
Let me cry.
Let me say goodbye.
Let me lie.
Let me come back.
Let me talk through the door.
Let me introduce myself.
Let me drive you home again.
Let me come in.
Let me show you an even better time.
Let me say it wasn’t my fault.
Let me say I’m sorry.
Let me love you.
Let me have a second chance.
Let me hold your hand nine months from now.
Let me see them on the weekends.
Let me apologize.
Let me back in.
Let me learn from my mistakes.
Let me start over.
Let me introduce myself.

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“People like to fall for their own tricks.”

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“Without a door to open, the key to success is useless.”

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