Meet a 10:30, woke up at 9:45. Sleep with curtains open. Got a tourist London pass thing. Saw London Bridge, but it didn’t fall down. Rain. Crap. Bought umbrellas though completely sunny in the morning, but awful rain. Not like seattle. Seattle rains all day; here rains for 30 minutes and stops. Kept umbrellas in my backpack cup holders so my butt ended up getting really wet :( so much stuff going on in London. You forget that the population of the city is more than the population of Washington state, but when you see the building, the tube, a train cross the river, and a battleship docked outside, you’re quickly reminded. We walked across one of the bridges where we had a clear view of Londond bridge. We took a picture and someone said “Go Huskies!” Awesome. It was a family on vacation from California. The rain chased us to a pub where we got those meat pies for lunch, like in Sweeney Tod, but different ingredients like chicken and stuff… I think.
In the tube stations on the escalators theres 11½ by 17 posters as ads. Sometimes they’re random, but on one of the escalators Nike has a whole row, and the theater—excuse me—the theatre district has a whole row. Apparently Shrek and Matilda are musicals now. Walking around it’s funny because you can spot the Americans real easy, and there’s actually quite a lot here for the Olympics. They’re the ones who talk simple and have no fashion sinse. I’m no exception, except I’ve been getting better at my British accents.
With our umbrellas held high and proud, our next stop was Londond Tower. I was expecting a tower, but found an old city/fort sort of thing; you know, where they used to build a big wall and then people lived inside it. We learned all sorts of things. The British took canons back as trophies from the places they conquered. A few of the kings back in the day were only boys, so they had little baby armor *ahem* armour made for them. Quays is pronounced “keys.” (I know English has some silly spellings; but that’s just ridiculous). Whenever I see a messed up spelling I always wonder what Colonel Bologna would have to say about it. But anywayses; the crown jewels are shiny. Wow. So much sparkle. If you touch your pinky finger and thumb together, you see how your thumb muscle kind of squishes together into a big lump? Yeah, that’s how big the diamond was. We couldn’t take pictures, which sucked. I thought about sneaking a picture in, but I’m sure the guards would love to quickly usher me back outside. Those guards had huge shoes, like border line clown shoes, but it’s intimidating when they are completely serious while wearing them. Clearly humor is not the place for this mood, but we found ourselves making wise cracks about the queen and stuff about every minute. I think we’re just jealous of her job on a base level. They had one of the crowns of when the crown jewels were sacked in 1669(ish). It looked like an empty bee hive because all the jewels had been plucked off it and stolen, and all that remained were the holes. Outside we saw one of the guards with the fuzzy black hats and red coats. He didn’t move much. He was just my age though. Made you think it was the crappist job in the army to stand there and just shift your eyes around all day while people take pictures of you. I figured he’d be a good guy to test out a new standup comedy routine on. Just start your jokes, and if you can make this guy crack, then you know it’s good material. One more quick thing about the crown jewels; they also had a baquet set that was made entirely of gold. To give you an idea of the scale, you could take a bath in the punch bowl (the ladle was a conch shell on a 3 foot handle), and the cup/pitchers were about a gallon or two. It was definitiely dining ware fit for a king (or queen). When we came to London Tower it was pissing down rain, but when we left it was sunny and blue sky again, just like the morning. I don’t understand this place.
We headed out to a part of town that was supposed to be nicer; and it was. Extravagance at its best/worse/I had know idea what ‘wealthy’ meant. There’s this store call Harrods that only sell the most expensive things you can buy. An emerald necklace over 250K, watches up to 90K, and this is all in pounds, not dollars, and such things as liters of perfume, 100 inch TV’s, and personal submersive scooters. And once you buy all these expensive things and are a shining beacon of luxury and get paranoid that people will want to mug you, you can purchase a bullet proof suit or tux, All the sales people there are my age, dolled up in pretty dresses and suits, and really good at sales. All we bought was a 4 pound thing of salmon at the food place. 4 pounds as in like somewhere around $6. I hate using pounds as currency ‘cause it’s so damn confusing. When I was counting my change I wanted to say “three pounds eleven ounces.” Outside was a Mclaren showroom and a Lambourghini showroom. I don’t really understand expensive fast cars. If you buy one you end up driving slow so everyone can see it’s you behind the wheel, but if you had a crappy car you’d drive fast to save face; at least you would in this neiborhood. “You only have an ’09 Benz? Stop wasting my air.” I suppose luxury is not for me. We ate fish n’ chips at a pub again and wound down for the night.