Tag Archives: best

I need your advice

What?

How do you say no without disappointing someone.

You can’t.

There’s got to be some way — I’ve seen people do it.

Ok, but do they actually say “no,” or are they just sliding out of it and not claiming responsibility for saying no, or are they just giving themselves an opportunity to be at a safe distance first?

Huh.

You can’t really tell someone “no” and not disappoint them, it’s just whether or not you respect them, and yourself, enough to tell them “no” without any window dressing. Saying anything else that hints at “no” is just delaying the inevitable. Sure, they’ll be disappointed, but you are saying “don’t be disappointed now; wait until I’m gone.” And that’s how relationships are ruined, because then you give yourself distance between you and that person, knowing that the farther away from them, the more comfortable you feel. But what you didn’t realize is that the closer you are to them, the more uncomfortable you feel, so when you think about connecting with them again you start to feel uncomfortable, and when, or even if, you are around them again it just feels weird. All because you couldn’t just say no in the first place. I’m not just talking romantic relationships either; any relationship where two people are involved. And what you didn’t realize is that you now have taught yourself the closer you are to that person, the more uncomfortable you feel.

I kind of get it. I mean, I’ve always gotten that concept, but for some reason I just keep falling in the same trap. Like, it doesn’t matter that I know junk food is bad for me; I keep eating it.

you treat other people the way that you want to be treated. You don’t want to hurt them, but you have to think about the long term. That’s what makes a good leader; for others to follow, and for yourself to follow. How would you like it if someone led you on and dragged you down a rocky path before finally letting go?

I hate it.

Okay… Well you need to see that. It takes bravery and courage to tell someone “no,” and to know that you most likely will disappoint them in the short term, but it is, without a doubt, better in the long run. It always is.

Time heals all wounds, right?

Yup. It’s not a race, but it never hurts to get a head start.

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Art

Art is so pointless sometimes. Don’t you think with all the thinking that artists have done over the years that we would have figured out the meaning of life by now?

You know what I think about the meaning of life?

What?

Why would God create us if we are going to die? But not really even that. Why would God create us with the capacity of knowing we’re going to die? Why couldn’t he just have made us live forever? Or at least make us unaware of what death is? That’d save me a lot of trouble. I’d be happy. But you know what? Have you ever seen anything amazing come from an ignorant creature? I don’t think so. Ignorance isn’t bliss, because without knowing what dark is you can’t know what light is. Without down there’s no up. It’s like explaining color to a blind person. Live forever? That’s not the way to go. It’s in the struggle, the fight of knowing that we are going to die, and having the choice to give it our all and fight, and fight, and scrape and crawl and bleed; fight until there is nothing left in us, until we are everything we wanted to be, or become everything we hate, until we see the light and release our last breath saying, “That was all of me. That was everything. That was my magnum opus.” It is that fight that brings out the worst in us, the absolute worst of desperation, greed, malice, jealousy, and wrath. And it is that same fight that we can triumph, love, heal, conquer and live. LIVE. Really live… and that’s what makes it worth it. That’s what makes life worth living. That’s why we are alive. That’s why we were created. But do no mistake the possibility of life with real life. Do not mistake defeat for death, and hope for triumph. It is a fight. Nothing is guaranteed. Many will fail, and many will succeed, but one thing for certain is that all of us will die. You don’t need me to tell you this. It’s not a surprise. You know it’s coming, and so we are left, not even with the choices we make, but just one choice: Will you fight? Will you fight? Will you live?

But why don’t artists just say that? Why does it take them their whole life to figure that out, or maybe even never figure that out?

That IS the art. Art cannot be summarized or broken down or paraphrased without its meaning being summarized, broken down, and paraphrased as well. Art can’t be explained; it has to be experienced. How do you hear music for someone else? You can’t. How do you taste a delicious treat for someone else? You can’t. How are you supposed to live for someone else? You can’t. I could tell you the meaning of life, but it wouldn’t be the meaning of your life. It takes a lifetime of experiences to understand the meaning of life. Not just the meaning of any life; the meaning of your life. Life is the art, and art is life. We cannot live for someone else, but we struggle to, we try to pour our soul into art so that someone might feel a glimpse of the same thing we felt, live a fraction of our lives, and thus keep us alive through art. We don’t need to live. We don’t need to think. We don’t need to do anything; so I ask you this: why do we? …Your life is art, and you are the meaning of life.

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It seems like the glutton free diet would be the one that works best.

It’s pronounced gluten. Not glutton.

Oh. Well what’s the point of that?

I don’t know. Tell you to avoid something so all you can do is think about it.

Hmm, seems a bit cruel.

Why? You should be able to control what goes into your mouth.

Not that. I mean diets; do any of these diets even work?

They say they do.

It just seems like if a diet worked than only one diet book would sell, but they don’t, so hundreds get made and people keep buying diet book after diet book… It just seems a bit cruel.

Then so are batteries. People keep buying them even though they know they won’t last.

But that’s way different.

No it isn’t. Do you really think people would change if one book had all the answers?

…Maybe.

People want to keep thinking the next book they pick up has the answer their looking for. It’s not cruel; it’s what keeps them running. Let them run.

Hmm, then I guess they’ll at least get some exercise.

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Generation Why

Who has ever succeeded without failing? I blame the schools. They’ve got everyone hung up on the notion that success will just ‘happen’on its own. Your livelihood will just come out of the blue and youwill be ‘okay.’As long as you try,everything will work out. You don’t need to be the best, you just need to give it your best; and that is what success is. Here’s a medal for participation. You earned it. It’s the same color as first and second place. All medals look the same. Color doesn’t matter. All medals are the same. As long as you are happy, you will be successful. Don’t worry about being happy. Just do what makes you happy. If you’re not happy then you’re not doing the right thing. Do something else. What makes you happy? You don’t need money to be happy. You don’t need money to be successful. You need to be passionate about what you do. You need to develop a passion for something. That is what you want to do. That is what you will do. That will make you happy. If it doesn’t; you’re not trying hard enough—but here’s a medal anyways. You tried to try. That’s worth something. You don’t need to be the best. You don’t need money. You don’t need money to be happy. Money makes you unhappy. Money is unhappiness. Money is unethical. Money is evil. You need to dress, act, eat like you want nothing to do with money. Money will corrupt you. You want to rise up and revolt against money. You are passionate about revolting against money. Chastise everyone who has money. To you, Revolution means more than ‘going in circles.’ You are good at revolting. You are good at Revolution. Oil isn’t green. Gays are at war. Babies are uneducated. Art is tasteless. The light in the fridge is still off. You are passionate. You are revolting. You are poor. You are happy. You are successful. You got what you wanted. Everything worked out… right? Here’s a medal. At least you tried. But you don’t want the medal. You don’t need a medal to be happy. You slap it away. Success! “…Nice try. Just take the damn medal.”

You earned it.

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