You know when it’s super quiet at the library, or a quiet spot in a movie, there’s always that one person that thinks if they unwrap their crinkly candy wrapper r e a l l y s l o w l y then you won’t be able to hear it? It’s more distracting when you’re trying not to draw attention to yourself. It’s going to make a noise either way; don’t drag it out. Just do it quickly and get it over with.
I am now promoting my twitter account, @allmostrelevant. It’s funny and keeps you notified.
I suppose as your writing teacher I’m supposed to give you an assignment. So for that assignment I would like you to write something.
Is that it?
No, something. Something in particular.
What does it need to be about?
Like I said, something.
Well, if there’s basically no rules, can I just sneeze on a piece of paper and turn it in?
This isn’t art class–there are rules here. I try to keep it simple, but you people keep trying to be creative and keep messing it up, so I don’t add any more rules. I’ve had many students try to write about anything and it never works out.
Okay, so how long does it need to be?
Write until you think I’m convinced, then stop.