Tag Archives: heart

I need your advice

What?

How do you say no without disappointing someone.

You can’t.

There’s got to be some way — I’ve seen people do it.

Ok, but do they actually say “no,” or are they just sliding out of it and not claiming responsibility for saying no, or are they just giving themselves an opportunity to be at a safe distance first?

Huh.

You can’t really tell someone “no” and not disappoint them, it’s just whether or not you respect them, and yourself, enough to tell them “no” without any window dressing. Saying anything else that hints at “no” is just delaying the inevitable. Sure, they’ll be disappointed, but you are saying “don’t be disappointed now; wait until I’m gone.” And that’s how relationships are ruined, because then you give yourself distance between you and that person, knowing that the farther away from them, the more comfortable you feel. But what you didn’t realize is that the closer you are to them, the more uncomfortable you feel, so when you think about connecting with them again you start to feel uncomfortable, and when, or even if, you are around them again it just feels weird. All because you couldn’t just say no in the first place. I’m not just talking romantic relationships either; any relationship where two people are involved. And what you didn’t realize is that you now have taught yourself the closer you are to that person, the more uncomfortable you feel.

I kind of get it. I mean, I’ve always gotten that concept, but for some reason I just keep falling in the same trap. Like, it doesn’t matter that I know junk food is bad for me; I keep eating it.

you treat other people the way that you want to be treated. You don’t want to hurt them, but you have to think about the long term. That’s what makes a good leader; for others to follow, and for yourself to follow. How would you like it if someone led you on and dragged you down a rocky path before finally letting go?

I hate it.

Okay… Well you need to see that. It takes bravery and courage to tell someone “no,” and to know that you most likely will disappoint them in the short term, but it is, without a doubt, better in the long run. It always is.

Time heals all wounds, right?

Yup. It’s not a race, but it never hurts to get a head start.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Breathe

“Here’s good.” She said.

A man and his wife started driving off the highway because she wanted to see if they could go somewhere where there was no sound. They drive through a dusty plain until they can’t see the road, and then they get out of the car. No rush of cars, horns, alarms, bells. Nothing surrounds them except a single tree in the distance.

The car’s warm engine crackles and pops softly. She raises an eyebrow at him. He responds with a sigh and he leads her towards the distant tree. It’s hot, and it’s a long walk. He fans the both of them with a used road map. A little over half way the wife sees the tree clearly. A dryness has spread through its branches like a cancer. The husband turns to look back, seeing that his wife had stopped walking. For the briefest of moments they were alone.

“Here’s good.” She lies down on the ground, and he joins her. She rests her head on his chest, closing her eyes, imagining nothing, listening to the only sound in the world; his heartbeat. It was bigger than anything in that moment, it was the only thing she felt, and when she closed her eyes it was all she knew. If she so much as lifted her head, opened her eyes, it would be gone forever. Of course his heart would keep beating, but it wouldn’t be the same. It would never be the same.

Unaware she had been holding her breath, she finally relaxed, and let it go.

“Here’s good.” He echoed. “…Here’s good.” And he closed his eyes.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Advertisements
Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: