Tag Archives: internet

Grammer

If someone corrects you’re grammar you can show them this post. Since grammar is a serious issue that we should not take lightly, and really, we should raise more awareness for, your apology is as follows:

“I cannot convey my ideas with such futile and devastatingly atrocious grammer as i have employed, and for that I am deeply; and truly sorry for what I have done. I have brought shame and misfortune upon my families name, and will be forced to carry the burden of a grammatical error with me for generations to come, as my grandchildren’s grandchildren shall still bear the scar of poor grammar as they’re lives will have been cast down by a fate not even in there power to alter, but one I have cursed them with with because of my grammatical carelessness which stems from the deepest sentiment, resonating with resonating with a resounding, ‘meh… whatever.'”

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

you can judge someone’s by thier actions, by their words. by their intentions, I.Q., or by what they stand for; but the only universal, trying and true way to judge someone is by their spelling and grammar”

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What’s on your mind?

Every living creature dies alone. That sort of thing.

That’s not always true. I’ve heard sometimes big groups of people, like in cults, come together and have mass suicides, like a big suicide party–oh and don’t forget about natural disasters. Lots of people die together in those.

Thanks. I feel way better now.

Well don’t drag your shit onto me. I’m feeling pretty good right now and I don’t want to deal with your existential crisis. I’ll deal with it when I get depressed on my own accord.

You could have just said that first. You don’t have to be such a jerk about it.

I was starting to feel bad, so I had to knock you down a few pegs, which made me feel better I gotta say.

Haven’t you heard of sharing the load to make it lighter?

Haven’t you heard about turds in punch bowls? I don’t want your shit in my mouth.

But we never talk about this kind of stuff. No one does.

And for a reason. People want to feel good. Yeah, we all know we’re all going to die, but we’d rather just distract ourselves from it than spend time thinking about it and dealing with it. Why do you think people are always on their phones doing dumb shit when they could have a quiet moment to reflect? Why do you think we distract ourselves from thought in general?

Yeah. I guess we’ve kind of gotten soft. No one wants to do the hard mental work to find true satisfaction; they just want to play fucking candy crush and feel happy for beating the next level or watch some fucking cats doing cute cat things.

Well yeah, that’s just the way it is, so deal with it.

I’m trying.

Well you’re sucking at it. Try harder.

But if I just distract myself it won’t actually change anything.

…I’ll give you some advice that my great grandpa gave me before he died, as long as you promise to shut up.

Ok. Sure.

When you feel like you are going to die — don’t die; and you will survive.

He said that?

Well, I’m translating, but that’s the gist.

Bullshit.

Well it’s what he said. Now shut the fuck up and eat some ice cream.

There’s no way he said that.

He was on the forefront of wisdom, what do you want me to say?

How about what he actually said?

But that is what he said.

I object! You expect me to believe this ill-conceived hearsay?

Why not? Everything is hearsay anyways. You wouldn’t even know how old you are if someone didn’t tell you. Everything can be true or false; it just matters if you believe it. You see, there’s a certain point in life when you realize that you’re not the judge. You don’t decide what happens, so you try to be the lawyer for a while, arguing about why it happens and all the time-consuming, convoluted questions that go along with that. But then you realize that you’re a crappy lawyer and are only confusing yourself, so you take another step back. Your real job is to be the jury, and decide what you want to believe. Because believing is the only choice we have, and the only decision worth giving a damn about. So don’t tell me you’re going to die, and don’t ask me why it will happen; just tell me what you’re going to do about it.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Don’t spend too long looking up quotes on the internet. Go outside or something and use some of them.”

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,
Advertisements
Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: