Pencil sharpeners are whores. And you’re the pimp. We all know this. Even since a young age we would have dozens of pencils and only one pencil sharpener. You stick in pencil after pencil, red, blue, orange, pink, number 2, hard lead, soft lead — some don’t quite fit, but you cram them in anyways — it doesn’t matter to you. All that matters is the pencils keep getting sharpened until they go out into the rough world of paper, get dull again, and need to come back. Pencils come and go, but you use that same poor sharpener until it too, dulls and can no longer function, and you get a new one. It has seen so many pencils, but can’t seem to remember any of them. It’s all such a blur. This lonely pencil just wants one connection that will last, that’s all it asks. It just wants to feel special. In a perfect world you would have one pencil sharpener for every pencil you use, but this isn’t a perfect world. You line up the next pencil sharpener and make sure it is tight and firmly mounted on the wall. You add a drop of oil to prevent squeaking, turn a blind eye, and start lining up pencils again.
“Why do politicians never answer with a straight yes or no?”
It’s not that they want to explain their answer; they want votes. So if you answered “yes” or “no,” more people may agree with you, but more people may disagree with you. And if you’ve ever been on the playground, you probably remember the one kid who pushed you down or made fun of you once, once; and not the countless times other kids helped you out. Yes, politics is a bit like an elementary school popularity contest, and the one kid who doesn’t disagree with anyone ends up being the most liked.